Dress-ups, both naughty and innocent...

I relate to Peter Pan. Not so much for his ability to fly, or for his inclination to surround himself with prepubescent boys...

Disney: Dressing Orphaned Boys in Furry Suits Since 1953

I just never want to grow up.*

I remember childhood as a time of endless summers and goody gumdrop ice-creams, a time of skipping rope in friends' backyards and pulling pipis from the shoreline. Good times! Puppies! Rainbows!

In fact my childhood was so idyllic, I am left with absolutely no-one to blame for the many, many, [cough] MANY examples of my current deviant behaviour. ("What officer, I shouldn't be dangling my feet in 5-inch heels out the car window while driving and sipping a mojito? It's my mother's fault. She... um... hugged me too much.")

Indeed, I often spend drunken Thursday mornings flipping through old holiday snapshots, trying to figure out what horrific trauma could have sent me flying off the rails.

Dad tinkers on the luxury yacht.
Left of frame: I got a new sand pail that day. Yay!

But really, it was all so wonderful that I often fantasise of reliving those halcyon days by dressing in a playsuit, packing my Strawberry Shortcake brand lip balm, and heading for the coast. So, understandably, when I saw today's garment, I got excited. (I call it excited. The lady in the shop called it hysterical. Semantics.)

Yes dear readers, this is a genuine vintage, cute-in-a-grown-up-sort-of-way, beach-ready playsuit! The perfect cover-up for when you reach that famous togs/undies threshold, it's also great to wear while building sandcastles, or when going cotton-pickin' on the farm. Pigtails optional.

Adowabawl!

Also: the buttons have little anchors on them. All together now: awwwww! There are way more pictures over at the TradeMe auction, because I'm a little in love with this piece and got rather camera-happy.

Details are below and the linkies are:
TradeMe - Playsuit Auction
Twitter - Add the Vintage Madam

Best be off now, there are a bunch of Disney lawyers banging on my door :-/

Till tomorrow,
Love and furry boys,
The Vintage Madam.

*Also, the feathered caps. Oh my, the feathered caps!

Size on label:	None
Modern size:	Best on a size 10
Label:	East & Red Casual
Condition:	Perfect other than some loose thread on buttons
Fabric:	Linen (?)
Closure:	Halterneck ties, hip buttons
Measurements:	(all taken with garment lying flat)
Armpit-to-armpit:	Free-size
Waist:	43cm
Hips:	50cm
Length:	Adjustable torso length; comes to mid-thigh
Features:	Cute anchor buttons, hip & back pockets

The Princess and the Feminist

My mum is a 1960s-vintage burn-your-bra feminist, and I love her for it. She's much of the reason I'm strong and independent today. But when you're 6 years old and your friends are all playing with dolls and wearing frilly dresses, sometimes a feminist mother can be rather embarrassing.

I never got to read girls' magazines, or play dress-ups; she wouldn't even let me pick lucky dips from the girls' bin because its contents might "reinforce gender stereotypes." The worst part was, in addition to being a feminist, she was also a student of sociobiology, and she had this Pavlovian trick of quoting liberally from "The Female Eunuch" every time I asked for a Barbie doll.

Acquiring today's dress was, therefore, an act of rebellion.



Mum would hate it. It is pink, and lacy, and fit for a princess. (I think I saw Lady Di in something similar once.) This is the kind of dress that mum's homemaker-in-waiting nemeses wore to their school balls while she attended neo-suffragette rallies. She would have thrown eggs at it. I, however, love it to pieces.

It was possibly homemade (there are no labels) and just gazing at it makes me imagine a sweet 16-year-old being awkwardly photographed by her parents on the way to some school dance. This is what I imagine nostalgia would feel like, if my mum had ever let me go to dances.

Anyway, if you want to piss off your feminist mother, or if you have a ball to go to, please head over to TradeMe and place your bids. If you really want to piss off your feminist mother, add this shameless fashionista on Twitter.
TradeMe: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Clothing/Womenswear/Vintage-retro/Size-10/auction-256585254.htm
Twitter: http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

Love and Barbies,
The Vintage Madam.

Size on label:	N/A
Modern size:	10-12
Label:	No label; possibly homemade
Condition:	Very good; button holes look slightly fragile
Fabric:	Satin and lace
Closure:	Back zip and buttons
Measurements:	(all taken with garment lying flat)
Armpit-to-armpit:	52cm
Waist:	39cm
Hips:	58cm
Length:	136cm (approx ankle-length)
Features:	Vertical front pleats, lace shoulders

Fedora? I hardly knew 'er! Yuk yuk! (Oh god. Sorry.)

Today I spent 45 minutes on my lipstick.

To some, this would be considered unreasonable. After all, in that amount of time, I could write a letter to a friend, cook and eat a delicious breakfast, or squeeze in a workout. But really: my friends know I love them, I like my daily Weetbix mush eaten at the traffic lights, and as for workouts, the gym has banned me since I put stilleto holes in the mat of their treadmill. :(

So I have a little time in the mornings, and today I had one of those iron-strong, can't-ignore-it whims to go noir. Yes, I pulled on my best back-seam stockings, slipped into a pencil skirt, and dug out a delicious silk pussy-bow blouse. All that was missing was the lips.

Scarlet. Matt. Colour so densely pressed into my lips, in so many layers, so meticulously blotted and re-blotted, that some lucky funeral home shall have to apply nothing when I die in 50 years. These are va-va-voom lips, ripe and red as poison apples, just begging to be bitten.

Is this some kind of subconscious vampire fantasy brought on by the recent Twilight release? No. I'm not twelve. My noir whim was prompted by the sight of today's femme fatale hat, a slick latte-hued wool fedora just begging to be slung low over one eye. Wear recommendation: adopt an air of superiority, then just add Robert Mitchum.*

The linkies are:
TradeMe: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Clothing/Womenswear/Accessories/Hats-caps/auction-256372767.htm
Twitter: http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

Until tomorrow, guys and dolls.

Love and lipstick,
The Vintage Madam.


*I take no responsibility for Robert Mitchum being dead or otherwise unavailable.

Modern size:	One size fits all
Label:	Wetherall
Condition:	Good as new
Fabric:	100% wool
Features:	Lush latte colour, indent on top

The extra-special special-occasion dress.

I love imagining the lives my vintage pieces enjoyed before I found 'em. Often, when scrounging in a thrift store or at a garage sale, I'll think to myself: "Hello, 1920s fedora. Perhaps you sat atop a gangster's head as he slung shots over a dame with gams." Or: "Hello, pink polyester box suit. Somebody's drunk aunt threw up on you at a wedding."

The best stories, though, usually come with custom-made garments. I mention this because today's piece is a Pamela Armer, and I happen to know that she is a dressmaker who makes one-of-a-kinds. (I heard she's retiring now, how sad.)

Anyway, my mind went crazy with stories of the original owner when I saw the label on this dress. I could picture the young woman - elegant, slender - walking into the store, a hibiscus flower in her hair. She tells Pamela: "I need a special dress. You see, one balmy summer evening, a few weeks from now, I shall be singing sultry Nina Simone songs at sunset at an open air jazz festival on the beach. On my birthday. Then, my boyfriend is going to propose to me in front of the entire crowd, and I'll say yes. Then, we'll be picked up from the stage by a helicopter and flown to Switzerland, where I'll accept my Nobel Prize for Chemistry. Then I'm having dinner with my future in-laws. Then we might drop by the Oscars. So: have you got a suitable design?"

Or, y'know, maybe it was ordered by the staff of a rich socialite who never wore it.

Either way, it sure is purdy! It features autumnal shades in the softest silk/satin, exquisitely cut with all the floaty sex appeal of a Marilyn Monroe vent dress. (Seriously. This dress has a boob-enhancing halter PLUS gam-friendly cut. Stand on a vent in it and you'll get at least half-a-dozen marriage proposals from slack-jawed johns.)

I recommend you start bidding and/or clawing each other's eyes out to buy it. The TradeMe link is: http://bit.ly/5hBPgj

And Twitter, once again, is: http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

Love and drunken aunts,
The Vintage Madam.

Size on label:	None
Modern size:	Best on a size 8
Label:	Pamela Armer Private Wardrobe
Condition:	Perfect
Fabric:	Silk or satin. I can never tell the difference.
Closure:	Back zip, plus the halter ties at the neck
Measurements:	(all taken with garment lying flat)
Armpit-to-armpit:	45cm
Waist:	38cm
Hips:	Free-size
Length:	Approx 120cm (comes to mid-shin)
Features:	Autumnal colours, leaf pattern, halter neck.

Mondays

Mondays. We all hate 'em. It's not just day-one-of-five psychology, either. I swear there are more meetings on Mondays. Public transportation is busier, and smellier. The skies are gloomier. The gods themselves frown upon us from on high, bearing their lightning bolts to rain down upon the wicked and the bored... OK, perhaps that's an exaggeration. But you can forgive my mind for some unrestrained wandering after a day of endless paperwork and Office Space-style TPS reports.

I do, however, have a secret Monday-beating technique. A weekly ritual so sunny, so effervescently adorable, that every time I perform it, I expect puppies to jump at my feet and Doris Day to appear at my side, singing wistfully into the distance. Are you ready? Here is the Monday prescription:
1. Dress in hoop skirt, ballet flats, and plenty of red ribbons.
2. Pick flower from nearby garden to twirl distractedly near mouth
3. Lean against old-fashioned lamppost
4. Wait for beautiful boy in crisp shirt to also lean against lamppost
5. "Accidentally" touch shoulders
6. Live happily every after.

Admittedly, numbers 4 through 6 rely on some measure of good luck. But it happened once, I swear! He was perfect: tall and neat, broad but ever-so-slightly willowy, like Rob Pattinson minus the disturbing "century old vampire" thing. We leaned, we touched shoulders, we lived happily ever after... well, at least until he mentioned he was waiting for his fiance.

But still I keep the faith! And now, like a character in one of those chicken soup stories, I pay it forward. Today, I present you the opportunity to hold the hope of such a moment in your purse. This delightful vintage cherry-red printed handkerchief depicts my exact Monday cure, and as an added bonus, if the boy doesn't show up, you can blow your nose on his picture. Come on chickadees, it's win-win.

Deets below, pics at TradeMe: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Clothing/Womenswear/Accessories/Other/auction-255865728.htm

And don't forget to let me Tweet you (that never stops sounding dirty): http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

Love and Fridays,
The Vintage Madam.

PS. If the boys don't stay of their own volition, try handcuffing one to the lamppost. He might not even complain!

Condition:	Almost perfect; a teency bit of fraying on the bottom edge
Measurements:	28cm x 28cm
Features:	1950s romance print; cherry red colour

The Money Coat

I don't know what the weather's doing where you are, but I am in Auckland. 'Nuff said.

We are theoretically 11 days away from summer, and yet the drizzle continues unabated. Despite all efforts to end winter, it soldiers on: like a run in pantyhose, or a trill in a Mariah Carey song, it's unconquerable.*

But there are a few upsides to this unseasonable iciness. Perhaps you like to indulge in some late November hot chocolates, or light the occasional evening fire. Personally, I like to wear coats. Into December. Rain or no rain.

Actually it's not just a long-winter phenomenon - my friends have been complaining about my excessive coatedness for years. Like drunk singletons stumbling out of a bar, I'll take 'em single- or double-breasted, in any shape or size, no matter how green or grey they might be. Yes folks, I'm a coataholic.

And why not? They are the perfect way to look chic on those days when you're too lazy / hungover to give a crap about what you wear... just add belt and heels, and you have a Vogue-ready ensemble. It's like Dressing for Dummies.

So what do I have for you today? Well I'm glad you ask. Today's coat is the kind you see on powerful Wall Street women in movies. Heavy, camel-toned, rich, just screaming money - even the lining is gold. And the label? You can find other pieces from London Affair in the fashion collection at Te Papa. (Seriously!) All in all, this coat is what I call an I'm-better-than-you garment, best worn to high school reunions and dominatrix sessions.

Curious? Check out the pics over at TradeMe: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Clothing/Womenswear/Vintage-retro/Size-14/auction-255265784.htm

And remember to add me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

That's it for today, wishing you all a hot chocolatey weekend!

Double-breastedly yours,
The Vintage Madam.

*A run in pantyhose can be stopped by applying clear nail polish. I'm curious to test whether the same is true of Ms Carey's mouth.

Size on label:	12
Modern size:	14-16
Label:	London Affair (made in NZ)
Condition:	Almost perfect; a few tiny pinprick holes in the lining
Fabric:	Not specified; either wool or wool/cashmere
Closure:	Six buttons; double-breasted
Measurements:	(all taken with garment lying flat)
Armpit-to-armpit:	53cm
Waist:	51cm
Hips:	57cm
Length:	125cm (to mid-calf on an average height woman)
Features:	Fully lined in gold satin; two front pockets

Disco isn't dead, it's just been hiding in my closet

Last dance, last chance for love
Yes, it's my last chance, for romance tonight
I need you by me, beside me, to guide me
To hold me, to scold me
'Cause when I'm bad I'm so, so bad...

Don't pretend you haven't Singstarred to this. We've all been there, usually at 3am with lipstick-smeared glasses of bubbly in hand and giant sunglasses on so we aren't recognisable in the Facebook pics the next morning. There's a reason disco still isn't dead: it's fun. Slightly shameful, somewhat guilty, unadulterated pleasure.

There's nothing that'll bond a group of women together more than Donna Summering it up. Except perhaps Spicing it up. You know what I mean: "If you wannabe my lover / You gotta get with my friends / Makin' love's forever / Friendship never ends." Anyway, I digress. Today's garment, you'll be relieved to know, is not a Baby Spice mood ring (yes, I had one) but rather a faaaahbulous midnight blue sparkly Donna Summer dress robe.

Which brings me to another digression: why did we abandon the dress robe?! It's possibly the only item of clothing that can be both a form-fitting wrap dress (with a belt) and a sin-hiding cover-up (over a dress). The dress robe doesn't care whether I'm feeling fit or frumpy; it's ready to work it either way. Come on 2010, let's see dress robes flooding the malls!

Okay, so maybe the 14-year-olds at Westfield will be looking for something a little skimpier, but those of us with a few years on them (ahem... a few...) could definitely make use of some class and versatility in our going-out clothes. But then, even if they tried, Glassons wouldn't be able to replicate this piece. It's possibly homemade as there's no label, but very authentic 1970s, with a neck tie and light shoulder pads (don't worry, you can pull them out if you want.)

Get on over to TradeMe quick, before I decide to make this a permanent part of my Singstar costume wardrobe! ;)
Link: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Clothing/Womenswear/Vintage-retro/Size-12/auction-255046865.htm
And Twitter link: http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

Details below, and until tomorrow, may your shoes be high and your boys be Bee Gees.

Love and afros,
The Vintage Madam.

Size on label:	N/A
Modern size:	Pretty much free-size, but best on a 10/12/14
Label:	None - was possibly homemade
Condition:	Perfect
Fabric:	Not specified; feels synthetic
Closure:	Pull-on
Measurements:	(all taken with garment lying flat)
Armpit-to-armpit:	58cm
Waist:	55cm
Hips:	Free-size
Length:	106cm
Features:	Neck tie, silver sparkles, shoulder pads

Mustang Sally

Every woman remembers the first time she got behind the wheel. Oh, the power! The speed! The sound of your Dad yelling at you as you crash into the bushes in the carpark behind the McDonalds! (Just me? Dammit.)

It's the start of a love affair. Sure, many of us may not know the names of our lovers (Ford? Holden? Who cares?) or what exactly they're packing under the hood, but we love 'em just the same. Especially if they're red and roofless and make that neat low rumbling sound when we rev.

And of course, there's car fashion. Who doesn't love a 1920s cabbie hat worn at a nonchalant slant, or a long, flowing chiffon scarf trailing as you speed through the open air? [Editor's note: Isadora Duncan. That's who.] But my all time favourite driving accessory is a soft, snug, oh-so-chic glove, perched casually on the wheel so admirers can peer over from their Volvos at traffic lights and pretend not to drool.

To be honest, y'all are lucky that I have freaky hulkish hands, otherwise there's no way today's beauties would leave my vice-like grip. I could never bear to part with such delicate forest green gloves, with such exquisite leather trim and lacing. Oh no. I would wear them to go driving, sky-diving, gold-mining, and skeet-shooting. But alas, they were made at a time when women's hands were... well... smaller than mine. Which honestly isn't hard.

Anyway, my loss (and the subsequent months of grief counselling) is your gain. Details below, pics at the TradeMe auction: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Clothing/Womenswear/Accessories/Gloves/auction-254836959.htm

Also, for those who don't know, you can get all my vintage clothing goss & updates by following me at Twitter: http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

Until tomorrow, sending you all my love and '65 Mustangs,
The Vintage Madam.

Size on label:	6 1/4
Modern size:	Would fit small-to-average sized hands
Label:	None
Condition:	Great, no faults
Fabric:	Suede with leather palms & lacings
Closure:	Pull-on
Features:	Rich forest green colour, cross-lace design

Of All the Gin Joints...

Confession. I love old movies. Now, that might not seem so bad, except that I love them a little too much. Like Tom Cruise's love for Katie Holmes, my love of old movies has seen many a couch trampled under feet powered by enthusiastic quasi-religious trances. I get, shall we say, excited.

OK, so the storylines are fine and everything, and sometimes there are some nifty songs, blah blah blah. But let's be honest. We watch old movies for the clothes. You're with me, right? The sweater sets, the cinch-waisted summer dresses, the power pumps... the cream Givenchy party gown in "Sabrina," the negligee in "Butterfield 8," the gypsy skirts in "The Barefoot Contessa." It's all rather too divine.

And few movies are more iconically stylish than "Casablanca," the film so sartorially distracting that nobody can correctly quote its most famous line.* But that's understandable. Who could listen to what Ingrid Bergman was saying when she wore that luscious sandy safari jacket: that outstanding piece of outerwear that miraculously looked both Moroccan and Park Avenue; both gin-joint smart and subtly sexy.

OK, so this isn't Ingrid's jacket. But it's the closest I've ever seen, and carries the same magic. Yes, ladies, buy today's jacket for those days when your brain hasn't quite woken up, because nobody will be listening to what you say when you look so smashingly smart. (Promotions likely but not guaranteed.)

As usual, details are below, photos at the auction, and the linkies are:
Auction @ TradeMe: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Clothing/Womenswear/Vintage-retro/Size-16/auction-254641347.htm
Twitter: http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

Happy bidding! Oh, and if you win, and find that a dashing man in a white suit should kiss you passionately in the street for no apparent reason, well, don't say I didn't warn you.

Love and handcuffs,
The Vintage Madam.


*"Play it again, Sam" is admittedly much catchier than "Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake."

Size on label: 40 Modern size: Approx. 16-18, though a 14 could wear it loose Label: Kaiser Condition: Immaculate Fabric: Not specified; beige with some texture Closure: 4 buttons Measurements: (all taken laying flat) Armpit-to-armpit: 52cm Waist: 47cm Length: 66cm shoulder to hem Features: Fully lined, single-breasted with pearly buttons

Ooh la la, viva Brazil!

Every Brazilian I've ever met has been a dancer. Not professionally, necessarily... but put on a CD, or even just indulge in some absent-minded off-key humming, and they're wiggling their hips on the nearest tabletop. They're also the inventors of tequila, the caipirinha, and a vicious 80-proof sugar cane syrup called cachaca, but I'm sure that is completely unrelated to the tabletop dancing.

There have been times - don't ask me to recall details - when the combination of such dancing and drunkenness has led to me not quite knowing how I left the office and ended up half-clothed and semi-comatose on a South American beach curled up in Javier Bardem's arms... OK, maybe I dreamed that last part.

But put these things together - dancing, beaches, Javier Bardem and mind-crushing liquors - and you get the kind of party today's shoes were made for. Oh, the buttery tan leather! The cute stacked heel! The palm imprint on the sole! These are summer shoes, just-add-sundress shoes. And unlike most modern shoes, the heel is actually solid enough to allow activities like, oh, you know, walking and dancing. Yes, footwear industry, I'm talking to you.

Wanna see what I'm so excited about? Deets below, & photos are up on the auction over at TradeMe:
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Clothing/Womenswear/Footwear/Size-6-65/auction-253789063.htm

You can also follow me on Twitter, if you can stand to see talk of vintage finds reduced to 140 characters or less:
http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

Anyway, assuming my foot-binding attempts fail, these dancin' heels will be sold to a lucky smaller-tootsied lass in the next week. Sigh.

That's it for today Madamettes,
Whippingly yours,
The Vintage Madam.

Size on label:	6 1/2 B
Label:	Catleia
Condition:	Lightly worn, still very wearable :)
Fabric:	Tan leather, stacked heel
Closure:	Ankle strap with buckle
Length:	24 cm
Features:	Woven-look, peep toe

A little royal purple

Well well, this was difficult... what to choose as the first ever Vintage Madam offering? I am a discerning madam you know, I can't pick just any dusty old scrap to offer my girls. Each item must be fit for a queen. Not the Elizabeth II type, mind, more like the hot queens played by Cate Blanchett in movies, or the feather-boa'd type on K Rd.

And therein lies the solution, for what is more royal than purple: the colour once so highly prized that the Phoenician monarchs had their clothes dyed in the mulberry mucus of sea snails?*

Oh dear, this is getting awfully educational... Whips! Handcuffs! Dita von Teese! There, that's better.

The point of all this is that today I present for your perusal a DIVINE, mint condition, royal purple gown. How divine is this gown? Well, I often find myself saying, while diving into the racks under the gaze of old biddies at thrift shops, "they don't make 'em like this anymore!" And this gown, dear madamettes, is the case that proves the point. From the delicate row of buttons at the wrist, to the subtle folds on the chest, to the intricate silver lacings of the buckle at the waist, this dress is all class. It's fully lined and even comes with a sleeveless overcoat to give it a different look and a bit of removable warmth.

This one's a gem-coloured gem, ladies. Details are below, photos and auction are over at TradeMe: http://www.trademe.co.nz/Clothing/Womenswear/Vintage-retro/Size-14/auction-253610542.htm

Also did you know you can add me on twitter? http://twitter.com/vintagemadam

That's it for now, I must sign off as it is evening-time and your loyal Madam has to go do seductive things with feathers.

Love,
The Vintage Madam.




*Today's garment contains no sea snail mucus. That I know of.

Size on label:	none given
Modern size:	best on a size 14 or slim-hipped 16
Label:	Camette
Condition:	Flawless :)
Fabric:	Not stated; chiffony in top / sleeves, heavier on main body
Closure:	Back zip
Measurements:	(all taken laying flat)
Armpit-to-armpit:	54cm
Waist:	45cm
Hips:	56cm
Length:	108cm shoulder to hem
Features:	Overcoat; fully lined; silver buckle at waist

Welcome!

Welcome and bienvenue, my sumptuous divalicious friends!

I am your new secret contact. Your new drug. Your new way to waste time at work.

I am the queen of the corset, the princess of the peacoat, the heroine of the hoopskirt.

I am the Vintage Madam!

Bookmark me now, for I promise to provide you with a daily fix of delicious, rare and gorgeous, wearable and begging-to-be-worn pieces of ART otherwise known as vintage fashion. If it's aged and beautiful, you can be sure I've snagged it in my cat-o'-nine-tails and am holding it just for you. And if it's a little bit naughty, no harm done ;)

Keep your eyes open, for there will be a new garment every day. You can bid on each piece on TradeMe, but if your workplace blocks it, fear not! Each piece will appear on this blog also, so you can pick your favourites and bid when you get home.

If you are lucky enough to win the piece you're drooling over, it will be delivered to you with a lot of haste and a little attitude. Vampy lipstick and male arm candy (usually) not included.

So welcome again and get shopping, because let's be honest: I scrounged for hours in a lot of dusty places to get my wares. All you have to do is click.